Love will tear us apart
by Andithiel
Summary: In her sixth year at Hogwarts, after being let down by Ron, Hermione finds herself attracted to the most unthinkable person. I obviously suck att summaries. HBP spoilers and possibly DH spoilers later on. Please R&R. Final chapter up!
1. She's losing it

Ok, this is my first fanfic, so please be nice.

* * *

Hermione woke up early as usual. She yawned as she looked at her watch. 4.00 a.m. She was dead tired, but knew that she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. She sighed as her brain began to work the night out. It had been another night of dreams se couldn't remember, but they always affected her mood. Right now she felt confused and agitated. Thank goodness she'd had the OWL's test the previous year, as for now she had problems concentrating in classes and as she studied. 

After half an hour Crookshanks came in to the dormitory and joined her on the bed. She patted his soft fur, played with his tail and tried to remember what her latest dream had been about. There was a boy in it, always a boy, but she could never remember who he was. That was probably why she felt so confused.

As the clock approached breakfast-time she rose and got dressed. Harry and Ron were waiting for her i the common room, Harry as usual trying to come up with a new explanation to what Malfoy was up to. She tried to look as though she was listening, but her mind was somewhere else. Sometimes things felt a little uncomfortable with Ron, but today it was ok, when Lavender wasn't there. She just had to accept that Ron had chosen Lavender over her.

The three took place at the Gryffindor table and started eating their breakfast. Harry and Ron were now talking about quidditch and Hermione didn't feel she was obligated to seem interested, they all knew she knew very little about quidditch. She looked around in the Great Hall and saw Draco Malfoy sitting at the Slytherin table. With a jolt she had a flashback of her latest dream. Malfoy had been the boy in it! And he had been kissing her. But it hadn't been an unpleasant feeling, she thought absent mindedly. Why?

"Hermione? Hermione, is there something wrong?" Harry asked her. She came back to reality and discovered she sat with her fork halfway to her mouth.

"I… I'm fine" she said. "Just remembered something. Nothing important" she added hastily.

Harry gave her an investigating look, but then turned to Ron to discuss broomsticks and golden snitches further. Hermione glanced over at Malfoy and tried to remember more of her dream, but soon it was time to go to their first lesson, Herbology.

_x - x - x_

She had a even harder time concentrating in classes than before. The teachers were surprised that her hand wasn't up in the air as much as usual, but she just couldn't listen to what they were saying or what they were asking. Harry and Ron noticed her straying thoughts too and asked her what was wrong, but she just told them she'd had too few hours of sleep.

Hermione went to the library to try to study before dinner. Harry and Ron had gone off to quidditch practise, so she had some time to kill. She sat down and began with the essay on Ancient Runes, but after a while she had a feeling of being watched. As she looked up she saw Draco Malfoy standing by one of the bookshelves staring at her. Feeling a bit embarrassed, as if he knew what had happened in her head last night, she returned to her books again. But when she looked up once more, Malfoy was standing right beside her.

"What are you reading?" he asked her.

"A book about ancient runes" she answered, surprised "nothing you'd be interested in".

He leaned forward and grabbed her book, eying it carefully.

"I need this one" he said.

"Well, you can't have it" she said, getting angrier with every word she spoke. "I'm using it now, you'll have to wait for your turn"

He sneered. "Oh, like I would listen to _you_".

"I hope you haven't forgotten the punch I gave you in our third year" she said heatedly "because I'll have no trouble reminding you".

For a moment he stood quite still, she could tell he was deciding wich was worst: him not getting what he wanted, or her hitting him again. He must've decided on the latter, as he leaned over to replace the book, and accidentally, his hand brushed against hers. She had a shivering sensation, like electricity flowing through her. Before she knew what she was doing, she kissed him.

Obviously he was startled, but after a while he returned her kiss. Something was fluttering inside her, like a butterfly trying to get out of her cheast. Without her noticing it, her hand was slowly making its way upwards, aiming at his face.

And then he broke off.

"What the _hell_ do you think you're doing?" he hissed. She heard him as thorugh a long distance, trying to take in what she had done.

"I… I…" she stuttered.

"_If_ I actually wanted to taint myself by kissing a mudblood, I wouldn't go for the know-it-all teacher's _pet_!" he spat out before he turned and walked away, leaving her confused and embarrassed.

She tried to think clearly. What had just happened? Why had she kissed him? She just didn't know what had gotten into her. Quickly she gathered her things and walked towards the Gryffindor tower. It was amazing that she managed to find her way there as her head was spinning with quiestions.

"I'm just confused because of the dream I had" she thought. "It showed me another Malfoy, and I've mixed him up with the real one."

"Are you sure?" another voice said.

"Yes of course I am! I've always hated him, he's unpleasent, he's spiteful and he's a racist! Besides, he's so pale and gloomy and…"

"Attractive?"

"No way!"

But, she had to admit to herself, Draco Malfoy had grown up to a rather handsome young boy. Pale yes, even more pale lately, but none the less handsome. And still he was the enemy, kissing him was like betraying all her friends and relatives! But that kiss… She couldn't stop thinking that he had returned it, he had kissed her back.

Although she couldn't remember it, she must've told the Fat Lady the password and climbed through the portrait hole, because she suddenly found herself in the Gryffindor common room. Harry and Ron were back from quidditch practise, and Lavender had joined them. She passed them, said merely "Hi" and headed for the girls dormitory, but Harry seized her by the arm.

"Are you coming to dinner?" he asked her.

"Um…" she said, glancing at Ron and Lavender who were cuddling as usual.

"Oh, don't worry, they'll never notice if we'd sit somewhere else."

"Okay then."

He smiled at her. It looked like a you're-so-brave-hang-in-there-smile and she didn't feel like discussing the Ron-and-Lavender-issue, so she told him she had to leave her books first and went upstairs. When she returned Ron and Lavender had left the common room and Harry were waiting for her by the fire. They went downstairs together, scaresly talking to each other, just a few words about classes. Hermione hoped Harry wouldn't ask her about Ron, but if she knew Harry, he wouldn't. He hadn't even told her he was in love with Ginny, although Hermione already knew and could see it was eating him.

She sat down with her back at the Slytherin table so she wouldn't be able to look at Draco Malfoy. Anyway Harry had spotted Ginny and Dean Thomas and wasn't very talkative, so they ate in silence.

They had just went out of the Great Hall, and Harry had run up to Neville to tell him something, when Hermione heard something.

"Psst, Granger!" It was Malfoy.

She looked around her nervously. "Yes?"

He took her by the hand and pulled her aside so no one would see them. Again she felt the rush of electricity.

"I just wanted to say that I won't tell anyone about the… library incident, and I would prefer that you didn't either."

She felt humiliated and could see how much he enjoyed to have something like this on her.

"Don't worry" she said with an effort "I don't want _any_ link with you, but I think you'll have more to lose than I have."

She turned and walked quickly away, hoping he wouldn't notice the angry tears that filled her eyes.


	2. Teenage kicks

Thanks for the reviews, I really appreciate it! I hope this one doesn't make Draco "a slobbering idiot" : ) Okay, here it goes!

* * *

The following weeks Hermione tried hard to focus on classes and to not look at Malfoy, wich wasn't easy. She still had a hard time concentrating due to her lack of sleep, and wherever she went she caught a glimpse of Malfoy. It didn't seem like he was as eager to avoid her, though. In fact, she sometimes got the feeling that he was looking for her in the corridors, but maybe she was imagining things. 

It was too bad that the Christmas Holidays were over, she thought. Maybe she would've been able to clear her head if she weren't at school.

She knew Harry suspected that something was wrong, but he seemed to think that it had to do with Ron, and she was happy to let him believe that. It was a bit humiliating that he felt sorry for her because of Ron, but it would be far worse if he knew why she was distracted and what had happened that day in the library. She didn't think he'd ever forgive her if he found out.

The only one she could talk to was Crookshanks, but she always had to make sure that noone was in the room when she whispered her secrets to him. And though he was a good listener, he wasn't as good at giving her advice.

_x - x - x_

One day she was walking towards the Gryffindor tower when she saw Malfoy coming towards her in an otherwise empty corridore. It was unavoidable, she had to pass him, she didn't know the secret passageways that Harry knew so well. Struggling to look at anything else but him, she quickened her pace to get it over with faster, but as she past him, he grabbed her arm and dragged her in to an archway so that they were hidden from sight.

"What the…" she began, but he silenced her with his lips.

It was like falling free, she forgot everything around them, the only thing that existed was his lips against hers. If only she could stop the time, then she wouldn't have to worry about anyone finding out about this.

Slowly he stopped kissing her and looked her straight in her eyes.

"So, I finally found the perfect and most pleasant way to shut you up, Granger" he said softly, stroked her cheek and kissed her again. She could feel his tounge trying to get its way into her mouth. But then suddenly she remembered something and pushed him away.

"What's going on Malfoy?" she said angrily. "What exactly are you doing?"

He looked surprised.

"I think you made it perfectly clear the other week that you didn't want anything to do with me!" she continued.

"I just…"

"Save it! I don't want anything to do with you! For all I know, you might be up to something" she said and walked away before he could say anything more.

Hurrying back to the common room, she felt a mix of fury, confusion and… that fluttering feeling again. Oh, this was stupid! Even if Malfoy really was interested in her and weren't trying to set her up, she could never be involved with him, it was just wrong. And yet it had felt so good…

When she had climbed through the portrait hole, she spotted Harry slumped in one of the armchairs, giving Ginny and Dean Thomas dark looks. There were no sight of Ron and Lavender, they were probably somewhere else, snogging the life out of eachother, she hoped.

Harry made a twitch as she moved towards him.

"Hermione, hi!" he said, looking a bit guilty. "What's the matter? You look all flushed."

"Oh, nothing, I just walked here very quickly" she said. Trying to sound light hearted. "Do you want to go through the Charms homework with me?" she asked, hoping he hadn't decided anything with "Won-Won".

"Sure. Great!"

But they both had trouble concentrating: Hermione's thoughts kept straying to that deserted corridore, and Harry was glancing at Ginny and Dean.

"Maybe we should go to the library" she suggested. "There's less distraction there."

Fortunately, Ron and Lavender were just making their way through the portrait hole and Hermione hoped that Harry believed she was referring to them.

"Yeah, okay" he said and they left. Ron looked a bit disappointed seeing them go, but he said nothing.

_x - x - x_

The following days Hermione tried to be around Harry as often as she could, and when she wasn't with him, she tried to be with anyone else. She figured that if she wasn't alone, Malfoy wouldn't try anything, and she was right, he didn't try anything. She was a bit relieved, but she knew she couldn't keep doing this. It was too exhausting to always find someone to walk with, and she liked studying by herself in the library, but now she had to do that in the common room where there always were people hanging around.

They had one of their potions lessons and Slughorn was going on about Harry's genius as usual. It was so irritating that he got all the credit for someone else's hard work, when she got nothing even though she knew more than him. When Slughorn refused to stop talking about Harry, she got up and walked to the other side of the room, to avoid having an outbreak.

She was standing by the cupboard with the various ingredients, when she felt someone standing a bit too close to her. Her heart leapt as she glanced over her shoulder and saw Malfoy standing there, and she could feel goosebumps along her neck.

"I think you will find something interesting in your book" he said low enough for only her to hear it.

She swallowed, but pretended she hadn't heard him.

Throughout the entire class she refused to look in her book besides for the paige they were supposed to read. She didn't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing her throw herself at whatever was inside it.

It wasn't until she was in the girls dormitory to leave her things before lunch, that she opened the book, and a folded note fell out of it. She picked it up, opened it carefully and read it. A neat handwriting said:

"Meet me by the Room of Requirement tonight at 10. Please /DM"


	3. Heartbeats

So, finally, here's the latest update. Thank you so much for the reviews, you really made my day! Hope you like this one too.

* * *

She stared at the note. What would she do? 

"You can't really consider to go there tonight!" a familiar voice in her head told her.

"Why not?"

"Because it's Malfoy!"

"So?"

"You don't know what he's planning.

"Well, if I don't go I'll never find out, will I?"

"He's asking you to come after hours! It's too risky!"

"Maybe I don't care."

_x - x - x_

She went down to the Great Hall to meet up with Harry for lunch, her mind racing.

"There you are!" Harry said, "What took you so long?"

She didn't know what to say, so she merely shrugged. "No reason."

They ate in silence. She couldn't see Malfoy anywhere, which was a relief. Harry kept glancing at Ginny and Dean and Hermione were thankful for the distraction. After lunch Ron came to join them and she used that as an excuse to be alone. She went to the library to check up how to perform a Disillusionment Charm, the kind that Moody had used to make Harry somewhat invisible one and a half year ago. Then she found a deserted classroom where she could practise. The best thing would be if she could borrow Harry's invisibilty cloak, but she couldn't ask him or he would wonder why she needed it, and she couldn't take it without his permission.

_x - x - x_

When the night approached she told Harry she wanted to go to bed early. He knew that she hadn't had much sleep lately, so he didn't seem to think there was anything suspicious about it. She went up, used the Disillusionment Charm and returned to the common room, making sure that noone saw her on the way down. But how would she get through the portrait hole without anyone noticing it? Luckily, at a quarter to ten, the portrait swung open and a fifth year climbed through. Carefully she passed him, it seemed like he came back from detention, and then she was out!

She walked as slowly and carefully as she could up to the seventh floor and into the corridore where the Room of Requirement was. A pale figure were standing by the door, holding it open with one foot so the room wouldn't vanish.

Malfoy looked nervous and anxious, he kept looking up and down the corridore, biting his lip and glancing at his watch. "She's not coming" she heard him say quietly to himself. "I'm such an idiot."

She made the spell lift and she was visible again. He jumped as he saw her.

"Hermione! You came!" He seemed genuinly happy to see her.

"Yes" she said firmly. "I hope I won't regret it."

"Come in, please" he said, opening the door slightly.

She hesitated, eyeing him carefully, but then decided to enter the room. He followed her and closed the door carefully. The room was dimly lit. There were a fire crackling in a fireplace and a sofa with a lot of cushions were standing before it.

"So, why did you want to see me?" she asked in an attempted casual tone, not facing him directly.

"I thought that was obvious" he said, not facing her either. Then he drew a deep breath and said quickly, as though he wouldn't dare if he didn't: "I haven't been able to get you out of my head since that kiss in the library."

"Oh, you mean the library incident" she said in a mocking tone.

"Please, don't interrupt me, I have to tell you this." He paused for a while. "Well, I guess that was it" he said awkwardly. "I know it's wrong, but I just can't stop thinking of you. I only told you that thing after dinner because I didn't want to admit what I felt"

"And what did you feel?" she asked.

"I…" he seemed to struggle with himself. But she didn't really care what he felt. She was too tired to resist it anymore. Before she had time to regret it, she walked up to him, said "Nevermind" and kissed him.

This time he returned the kiss immediatly, then put his hands on her back and pressed her against him.

"This is wrong" she kept thinking. "This feels too good to be right."

After a while they broke apart. He smiled at her as he played with a strand of her hair. "Who would ever have thought you were such a good kisser, Granger?" he said. She didn't answer.

"I have to go back."

"What, now? So soon?" he said disappointed.

"Yes. Someone will wonder why I'm not in my bed."

"Oh, okay." He thought for a while as she straightened her clothes. "Will you meet me here tomorrow?" he asked. "We can meet later, when everyone's gone to bed. And maybe you can stay a bit longer?"

She looked into his pale grey eyes, there were anxiety in them. Then she nodded shortly and said "I will". His face lit up with a smile as he embraced her. She closed her eyes and drew a deep breath full of him. "We must be out of or minds" she thought.

_x - x - x_

The following day her mood was like a rollercoaster. She felt excited, but the next moment she realized why and plummeted. At breakfast she spotted Malfoy right away. He gave her a quick smile, barely noticable, and she had just time to return it, before Pansy Parkinson came and took the seat next to Malfoy. Hermione couldn't hear what they were saying, but she could hear Pansy giggling at everything Malfoy said.

"Pansy" she thought grumpily "what a suiting name."

Later that evening, up in the dormitory, she arranged her pillows so it would look like she was lying in bed, then enchanted them to move, looking like someone was breathing underneath the cover. Lastly she used the Disillusionment Charm and slowly sneaked into the common room where she sat quite still until everyone had gone to bed, before she climbed through the portrait hole.

Once again, Malfoy was waiting for her outside the Room of Requirement, one foot in the doorway to prevent the room from disappearing. She checked that there was noone around, made the spell lift and walked towards the door. He smiled as he saw her, holding the door open so she would go in, then closed it. He took her in his arms and gave her a long, kind of suffocating hug.

"I've been thinking about you all day" he said, resting his head upon hers.

She smiled and told him she had been thinking of him too. Then her eyes fell on a bed standing a few feet away.

"What were you planning on using that for?" she asked him and pointed at the bed.

"Well I… I just thought that… maybe you wanted to… sleep here. With me."

She stared at him. Was he joking?

"Oh no" he said, suddenly realising what it looked like "not like that. Just sleeping. With clothes on."

He seemed so eager to tell her that he only had honest intentions, that he couldn't express it properly. He stuttered a little, looking so ashamed that she had to laugh and give him a peck on the cheek.

"I think it's a wonderful idea" she said, smiling.

She lay down on her side and he lay down behind her, putting his arm around her. She suddenly realised how tired she was, she felt exhausted.

"Good night Hermione" he mumbled. "Sleep tight."

"Good night. Draco."

She could feel his breathing down her neck. It was a rather soothing sensation. Soon she fell asleep. And for the first time in ages, she slept the whole night through.


	4. Such great hights

Hi everyone! Sorry I haven't updated in a while, but I've had so much to do. Also, I'm trying to fit this story into the real plot, so I had to do some research before this one. But, in return, it's a bit longer this time :) Hope you'll like it!

* * *

When she woke up the next morning, Draco wasn't there. She looked around, feeling a bit confused. There was a note on the pillow beside her, the same neat handwriting as the note he'd left in her potions book. 

"You looked so peaceful, I didn't have the heart to wake you. Love Draco"

A panicking feeling started to build up inside her. She had overslept! She would be late for classes! Hastily she took up her robes from the floor and put them on. Then, with as much care she could afford in the rush, she sneaked out of the room and started running towards her first class, wich was Charms, luckily. What a disaster it would've been if it were Defence against the dark arts, with Snape.

After the lession she raced up to the Gryffindor tower to get her books. When she entered the dormitory, she realized that her pillows were still breathing underneath the cover. She made them stop with a flick of her wand and rushed off to the next class.

By lunchtime she was exhausted from all the stress and the fact that she hadn't eaten all day. As Harry sat with Ron she ate alone, litterally stuffing her face.

On her way to Herbology class she was suddenly dragged into one of the classrooms by someone. It was Draco.

"You!" she screamed, but he signed to her to keep her voice down and she hissed "Why didn't you wake me?"

"I already told you" he said with a smile. It wasn't the ususal sneer she had seen so often, there were mischief and… affection in his eyes.

"But how could you just leave me there?"

He suddenly looked regretful, but soon that mischievous twinkle in his eyes was back.

"I thought it might do you good" he said "you know, lose control a bit."

"Lose control? You don't think that I _have_ lost it already?"

"You're not angry with me, are you?" he said, looking innocent.

How could she resist? "Of course not" she said with a sigh as she slipped into his arms, walking right into that electrical field.

After a moments silence he said: "What do you think about meeting in the Room of Requirement on Saturday night? You won't have to worry about being late for classes on a Sunday."

She smiled into his chest and nodded. "Okay."

_X – X - X_

She could barely wait until Saturday night, but at the same time she felt really nervous and guilty. She couldn't share this with anyone, this was hers and his secret.

Finally came the evening and she sneaked out of the common room, after enchanting her pillows again. She had to wait until everyone had gone to bed, which was quite late since they were all free the following day. As before, he was waiting for her outside the room, and his face lit up when he saw her approach. Apparently, he had managed to see her despite the Disillusionment Charm. He took her hand and gave it a little squeeze as he led her into the room. Well inside the room she couldn't contain herself, she turned to him and kissed him hungrily. He was a bit startled, but kissed her back while putting his arms around her.

"I've missed you" he said when they finally broke apart. "I thought I was going to loose it when we had Potions together and I couldn't talk to you.

She gave him a sad little smile. That was exactly what was wrong with all this, they had to pretend as though they hated each other whenever they met in school. "I know, me too."

"Do you want to sleep?" he asked her and she nodded. He lay down on his back and she lay beside him, resting her head on his shoulder. She fell aslepp almost immediately, and when she woke up in the morning, he was still there beside her.

"Good morning" he smiled at her.

"Morning. What time is it?"

"Half past ten, you're quite a sleepy head."

"I haven't slept well previously."

"But you are now?" He seemed pleased to hear that.

"It's too late to go down and have breakfast now, isn't it?" she said and avoided to answer.

"Yeah, but I sneaked downstairs and brought you some" he grinned at her, obviously proud of himself, and started to eat.

"So you left me again?"

He stopped with his mouth open, his hand in mid-air. She could see how his mind was racing to come up with something to say to repair the damage.

"I'm joking!" she said with a smirk. "This was really nice of you."

His whole body seemed to relax and he laughed a bit uncertainly. "You really got me there."

They ate the rest of the breakfast and then Hermione streched and said:

"I'd better go back now."

"Yeah, me too. Got lots to do" he said. She eyed him curiously. Lots to do on a Sunday?

"Ladies first" he said when they had assembled everything and made sure there was no one outside the room. "I'll wait 'til you're gone before I go."

She turned round and kissed him one last time before leaving the room.

_X – X - X_

She had almost reached the portrait of the Fat Lady when she saw Ginny coming towards her.

"Hermione, haven't you heard? Ron's in the hospital wing!"

"What?! Why?"

"He was poisoned. But don't worry" she added when she saw the expression on Hermione's face, "he's all right, Harry was with him and he shoved a bezoar down his throat."

They went to the hospital wing together, where Harry already was, but they were forced to wait outside until madame Pomfrey would let them in.

There he was, lying in one of the beds, looking extremely pale and ill. Hermione felt as though someone took her heart and squeezed it hard. After a while Fred and George came to join them, and then Hagrid came too. When mr and mrs Weasly arrived, she, Harry and Hagrid left. Though her head was a mess, she heard Hagrid tell Harry about the argument between Snape and Dumbledore. Investigations in the Slytherin house? She knew what Harry thought, that they were referring to Draco. But could that really be?

She went to bed right after they had arrived at the Gryffindor tower. Poor Ron. She couldn't stay angry with him. In fact, she hadn't really been angry with him for a while now, but it was such a good excuse to wander off alone. But now, after him nearly getting killed, she couldn't keep that up.

She couldn't fall asleep, she lay tossing and turning while she was thinking of the things that had happened and the things she'd found out during the day. What if Harry was right? What if Draco was up to something? Could it be him that was trying to attack someone with a bewitched necklace and poisoned mead?

"This is insane" the reasoning voice in her head told her.

"I know."

"This can't go on."

"I know."

"You have to end it."

"I know."

_X – X - X_

The next day she was having breakfast with Harry in the Great Hall. She was trying to concentrate on what he was saying, but it was hard, she was thinking about how she would tell Draco they couldn't see eachother anymore. But suddenly Harry told her something that interested her.

"You know, I checked the Marauder's map yesterday, before the hole Ron-accident, and guess what?"

"What?"

"Malfoy wasn't in his bed!"

She froze. Had he realised why he hadn't seen Malfoy in bed? Had he seen that she hadn't been in hers as well? No, he would've talked to her earlier, wouldn't he?

"Oh" she said, not really knowing how she should reply.

"Well?" Harry urged her.

"Well what?"

"Where do you think he was if he didn't show on the map?"  
"How should I know?"

"Thought you might have some idea."

"Well, I don't."

They said nothing for a moment until Harry broke the silence.

"Anyway" he said "I'm going to study the map whenever I can and see where he goes to."

Her heart sank. If Harry was going to look at the map all the time, then he would see her as well, with Malfoy, if they weren't in the room.

"Don't you think you should be concentrating on getting that memory from Slughorn?" she asked him. He looked annoyed and did't answer. Instead he said:

"Are you going to visit Ron today?"

"Dunno" she said a bit vaguely as Draco had entered the Great Hall and she was struck by how good looking he was: tall and thin, with broad shoulders and the blond hair in a bit of a mess. He gave her a quick look and a faint smile before he sat down to eat his breakfast. This was going to be difficult.

_X – X - X_

The fact that Harry would look at the map put her in a bit of dilemma. Originally she had been planning on telling Draco in a classroom before curfue, it would make everything much easier. But if Harry was going to look for Draco all the time it would be safer to meet in the Room of Requirement after hours, as she figured that Harry wouldn't check the map after curfue.

She scribbled down a note saying "Meet me outside the Room tonight at 9.00/H" before leaving for classes.

The Entrance Hall was crowded with students, but she managed to spot Draco somewhere in the middle, he was walking in the opposite direction. She made sure she passed close by him and discretely slipped the note into his hand, not turning to see how he reacted.

_X – X - X_

At night, she stayed out of the common room so she wouldn't have to sneak out, she merely lingered in the library. Outside the Room she used the Disillusionment Charm and walked past the wall three times while concentrating hard with eyes closed.

"I need a place to meet Draco. I need a place to meet Draco. I need a place to meet Draco."

When she opened her eyes the door was there and she opened it while making the Charm lift. It didn't look quite like the room Draco had fixed, but it was still cosy. Damn, her mind wasn't really into this about finishing it. But it had to be done. A sound behind her made her turn round, and there was Draco.

"So, why are you sneaking around here,?" he smiled.

She didn't answer but hurried inside the room while signing to him to follow her. Inside the room she made sure there was a distance between them. He looked puzzled.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"We can't see eachother anymore." she replied.

"Why?"

"Because… you know. This is wrong. We…" her voice failed her.

He took a step closer and she backed away.

"But how can it be wrong when it feels right?"

"Did you have anything to do with Ron being poisoned?" she blurted out.

He made a start and his eyes narrowed. "Why would you think that?"

"I just…" She couldn't tell him the truth, that Harry was suspecting he was up to something, and that Snape was helping him. "I know you've always despised him" she said, knowing it sounded childish.

"Not enough to wanting to kill him. I didn't have anything to do with it, I promise. I know how it would affect you if I harmed one of your.. friends."

She bent her head down, fighting the tears. This was too hard.

"You have to do this! You have to do this!" she kept thinking. But when she looked up he had moved towards her and was now standing right in front of her.

"No, not this close!" a panicked thought ran through her mind.

"Hermione…" he said and took her hand in his. She tried to withdraw it, but he held it fast. Still she refused to look at him.

"You know, I just feel safe when I'm with you" he said in a muffled voice. "When we're in here, it feels like there's no world outside and that no one can hurt me."

"I wish I could feel that too" she thought, but said nothing, she continued to look on the floor, trying to summon strength.

"Please" he whispered. "I need you."

And finally she looked up, looked him straight in the eyes and saw the tears filling them, the worry showing in them. She gave a silent sob, grabbed him by the neck and kissed him intensely.

It was useless to fight it. She was like a moth to a flame, and she knew that evetually she would get burned, but the light was too tempting.


	5. I melt with you

AN: Hi everyone! First of all:Sorry I haven't updated in a while, I've just been too busy. I will probably not be able to post a new chapter until after new year's, because of all the preparations for Christmas, plus I have my final exams in January.  
Second, but most important: Thank you so much for the reviews. I'm so amazed that there's actually someone who reads this story and likes it. You really make me want to update more often, but sometimes you can't do everything.  
Third: As I've mentioned before, I'm really new in this fanfiction business, so there's a few things I'm not sure of. If someone want to teach me some "manners", I would be more than happy.

OK, enough about me, let's get on with the latest chapter. Hope you'll like it.

* * *

The following Monday, Hermione escorted Harry and Ron from the hospital wing. Harry had spent the weekend there due to the injury he'd gotten at the Quidditch-game, and Hermione told him about the row between Ginny and Dean the other day, thinking Harry would like to hear that. She was right, he tried hard to find out why they had been arguing and if they had split up. 

It felt really good that they were all friends again, but she knew things would get more complicated, but she didn't want to worry about that now.

She had breakfast together with Harry, as Ron was eating with Lavender. They both looked really annoyed with eachother, and she knew it was because of her, but she tried not to think about that. If Ron had a crush on her or if Lavender was jealous of her, it was their problem. Draco wasn't there for breakfast and it was a bit of a relief, but she wondered where he was at this time of day.

In the evening, she helped Harry with his Herbology-essay before he went to see Dumbledore, then sat in the common room alone. Though she and Ron were friends again, they couldn't hang out just the two of them because of Lavender. Hermione wasn't sure she wanted to be alone with Ron anyway, but it would be nice to be with someone tonight. She hadn't been able to set up a meeting with Draco all day, even though they'd had both Defence against the Dark Arts and Potions together. There hadn't been a opportunity during the lessions, and when they had time off, she hadn't been able to spot him. She longed to see him again, they hadn't met since she tried to break it off.

X – X - X

The next day, she had breakfast with Harry and Ron and she had a hard time trying to ignore both the angry looks that Lavender gave her, and the fact that Pansy Parkinson was hitting on Draco, with her ususal giggling and loud laughs at everything he said. She found herself feeling quite envious at Pansy, though she didn't want to admit it, because she didn't have to hide the fact that she was interested in Draco. He didn't seem as interested in Pansy, though, which relieved her. Every now and then he would cast a look on Hermione, to see how she reacted. The third time she couldn't help but smile at his agony. Before they left for classes she scribbled down a note, saying that she wanted to meet Draco that night, and slipped it into his pocket as she passed him on her way out of the Great Hall.

X – X - X

When she came to the Room of Requirement that evening, he was already waiting for her outside. Her heart leapt and she was just about to make the spell lift when she thought she saw a movement further down in the corridore. Could someone be spying on them? She decided to wait to become visible until she was well inside the room. Draco raised an eyebrow in surprise and she whispered: "Just to be on the safe side". He frowned, but said nothing.

It was not until he had closed the door that she realised he was paler than ever.

"What's wrong?" she asked him.

Once again, he frowned. "Nothing. Just got loads to do. Haven't had much sleep."

She lifted her hand an stroke his cheek. It seemed like something was weighing on him, but she knew better than to ask him further, she knew he wouldn't like it.

She didn't know what to do next, but he took her hand and led her towards the bed.

"I really need some sleep" he told her. With a yawn he lay on his back on the bed and she cuddled up beside him.

"I've missed you" she said in a low voice in his ear. She felt his cheek against her chin as he smiled, and he put his arm around her neck.

"I was happy you slid me that note." he said. "I've been worried since… well, you know."

"Yeah, I know."

Carefully she slid her hand in under his shirt, stroking the silky skin of his abdomen and felt a rush of excitement. He held his breath for a moment and then relaxed again.

"Mmm, that's nice" he mumbled.

She wanted to move her hand further up, but was afraid what that would lead to. She wasn't sure she wanted to know, so instead she stopped moving her hand.

"Hermione…" he said drowsily.

"Yes?"

But the answer never came. He had already fallen asleep.

X – X - X

On Sunday, she was sitting with Harry and Ron in the Gryffindor common room, finishing up Ron's essay for Snape, when suddenly Dobby and Kreacher appeared. She got a nasty feeling when they both turned up, talking about making reports. And with rising panic, she heard them telling how they had been following Draco night and day. Quickly she scanned her mind, thinking when she had met Draco. But since the Quidditch match, she had only met him once, and then she hadn't revealed herself until she was inside the room because… because she had seen something down the hall! She must have spotted Dobby or Kreacher!

But she was confused when Dobby told them that Draco was making regular visits to the Room of Reqiurement, with many other students. Why would he make regular visits in accompany with many other students? Harry's theory on the subject, that those student were in fact Crabbe and Goyle disguised as girls, didn't calm her down at all, it just made her more puzzled. What was going on?

X – X – X

As the summer drew nearer, Hermione saw lesser and lesser of Draco. They both had lots to do in school, and with their apparition lessons, but there was something else too. Almost every time she suggested that they'd meet, he said he had other things to do, so they mainly met when he wanted to. This irritated her a lot, but she didn't want to start an argument, she was worried he would get so angry that he didn't want to meet her anymore. This also annoyed her, the fact that she needed him so much that she let him set the rules was hard to realise.

She had also noticed that he looked paler than before, he seemed agitated in classes, and he was always weary when they saw each other. But still, she didn't dare ask him why. She knew he was annoyed with Harry trying to find out what was going on, and maybe he would think she was spying for Harry's sake. But she got the feeling that maybe Harry was right, maybe Draco was planning something and using the Room of Requirement while Crabbe and Goyle were watching.

X – X – X

She was on her way to the Gryffindor tower one day in May, and had almost reached the portrait of the fat lady, when Harry came rushing out of the portrait hole, his shirt stained in blood and soaked with water. She stopped dead and stared at him as he ran off along the corridore. After a moment, she remembered where she was, told the fat lady the password and climbed through the hole, wondering what had happened.

Ron just entered the common room from the boy's dormitory when she got in.

"Was that Harry just running out of here?" she asked him. "Why was he covered in blood?"

Ron shrugged. "Dunno. He came in here and wanted my potions book, he said he didn't have time to explain."

Hermione frowned and tried to think what could have happened to Harry. But very soon, there were rumors starting to go around the school: that Harry Potter had nearly killed Draco Malfoy in one of the bathrooms. She had a hard time believing that, but about an hour after she had seen Harry, he came back to the common room and told them the whole story, that he had seen Draco crying in the bathroom, they had started to fight eachother, and he finally used the Sectumsempra spell that proved to be very dangerous.

She was worried out of her mind for Draco's sake, but she couldn't argue with Harry over that. Instead, she told him he had been stupid for using a spell he didn't know, and that this Prince-person couldn't be trusted. And still he defended the book that had caused him so much trouble. She couldn't believe what she heard, and she fought hard not to scream at the top of her lungs at Harry in anger. But the final blow came when Ginny started to defend Harry, and when she humiliated Hermione by telling her she didn't know the first thing about Quidditch. This was of course true, but it still hurt to hear one of her best friends telling her such a thing when she was in such an upset state and had no one to confide in. She felt like crying but couldn't do that in front of everyone, so she merely stared up in the cealing, wich was the only thing she could do while fighting the tears that were threatening to come.

Later that night, she was pacing up and down beside her bed, trying to calm down and not to think about how Draco was doing. She had to see him, she had to. She didn't care if someone caught her, she had to visit him.

When everyone had fallen asleep, she sneaked out of the portrait hole and carefully made her way towards the hospital wing. She managed to get there without anyone noticing her, and silently she said "Alohomora" to the locked door and it clicked open. Slowly, she opened the door and peered inside. Madame Pomfrey had gone to bed, and in the far right corner was an occupied bed. She tip-toed towards the bed. Draco looked even paler than he had been the last few weeks, she was surprised that it was even possible. He was still awake, but looked sulky at the sight of her.

"Hi" she said softly. "How are you?"

He refused to look at her, but answered. "I'm okay, no thanks to your_friend_, though."

She frowned, feeling annoyed. Was he going to take it out on her because Harry was her friend?

"You know Harry wouldn't have cast that spell if he knew what it would do" she told him. "He wouldn't want that to happen to anyone, not even to _you_."

He made a start at her last word, but didn't reply.

"Look, if you're going to be angry with _me_ for this, I might as well leave right now" she told him firmly, turning towards the door.

"All right" he said regretfully. "I'm sorry. Please, just stay here."

She turned to him. "Are you going to behave?"

"Yes, of course."

"Good" she said, walked to the bed and sat down on a chair beside it.

"Are you sure you're okay?" she asked him.

"Yes, positive. Just have to stay here for a while to recover. I think I lost a lot of blood."

There was a moment's silence while Hermione took in what he had just said. For a sceond she felt more anger boiling up inside her about Harry and his stupid potions book, but then she calmed down. This wasn't the time to get upset about that.

As casually as she could, she said: "I heard Pansy Parkinson was here to see you today."

"Yeah, she was. So?"

"So…" she didn't really know what to say. "It must've been nice to… have someone to visit you. I mean, a friend."

A content smile spread across his face.

"Are you jealous?"

"No!" she said, a little too quickly. "I was just wondering. And, you know, it must me nice to…"

"…have someone visiting me" he said, cutting across her. "You've already said that."

She blushed at his words, but he said nothing further on the subject. Still, he looked very pleased. She slapped him on the arm. "Oh, please, don't be so full of yourself!"

"Won't you sit here beside me?" he said after a moment's silence and patted the bed. She moved over to his side and took his hand.

"So, I guess you were really worried about me, since you took the risk of coming here" he said, still looking very pleased.

"I guess so" she said casually.

They sat in silence. There were so many questions burning inside her head. Why had he been crying in the bathroom? Why did he barely have time to see her now? What was he doing in the Room of Requirement when Crabbe and Goyle were keeping a look out? But she didn't dare ask him any of those questions. She would reveal Harry if she asked him about the Room of Requirement, and if she told him she knew he'd been crying, he'd be embarrassed.

To break the silence she said the only thing she dared ask him:

"Can I see it?"

He hesitated for a second, but then he said "Go ahead" while gesturing with his head to his shirt. With great care and trembling fingers, she started to unbutton it. She fumbled a bit, and was suddenly aware that she was very nervous, but then she was able to open his shirt up.

There it was. A fine, pink line was running along his upper body. It looked like he'd been scratching himself with something sharp in one, long motion. There were no sign showing that blood had been pouring out of him just a few hours ago. She couldn't imagine how much it must have hurt, how scared he must have been.

Slowly, almost without noticing it, she streched out her hand and touched the line with her index finger. His stomach retracted somewhat the first second, before he got used to it. She let her finger slide slowly along the line, feeling the texture of it.

Then she met his eyes. They were dark and full of desire, and she noticed that his breathing had become heavier. She leaned forward, opened her mouth, and finally her lips met his. She felt his tounge searching its way into her mouth, softly brushing against her own tounge. At the same time, he slid his hand underneath her shirt, stroking her back while pressing her closer to him. She had to support her weight on her elbows to avoid laying it entirely on him, and the only place she could reach was his hair. She closed her eyes and felt like she was falling free again. Her heart was pounding fast and hard, she was surprised that no one came to examine where the noise came from. She wanted so badly to stay in this moment, just like this, with his arms around her and a feeling of excitement. If she could only freeze time and no one would ever find them and disturb what they had.

Then she felt one of his hands moving along her back , upwards, to her bra, and then she felt him fumble with the clasp. She ammediately panicked.

"Wait!" she gasped as she freed herself and got up. "We shouldn't do this."

He remained silent and just looked at her. She tried hard to find an explanation. "I mean… you're injured, and you're here to rest, and… well, I don't think this qualifies as resting" she added nervously.

He was quiet for a moment while he examined her, then said "I think you're right."

"You do?"

He nodded. "You know, Madam Pomfrey is very strict, if she found out I haven't been resting properly, well… I don't even want to think of it."

She let out a nervous laughter. She realised she had been worried that he might be angry with her, but now she felt her whole body relax. She sat down on the bed again.

"Will you stay here toight?" he asked her.

"Is that very clever? What if Madame Pomfrey sees us? Or some of your friends?"

He nodded thoughtfully. "Will you at least stay for a while?"

"Sure. Just a short while."

She crept down between the sheats and put one arm around him. She felt so secure lying here, even though there were a risk they would be revealed. Just the sound of him breathing was very relaxing. After a few moments she heard his breaths become more and more steady. Carefully she got out of the bed, kissed him on the cheek and sneaked out of the room and back to the Gryffindor tower. A little smile was visible in her face: she hadn't felt this content in a long time.


	6. Not forever

Hi eveyone! I'm so sorry this took me so long to update, but I've been really busy and haven't had any spare time. But, I hope you will like this one. The next update will not take this long, I promise.  
08-19-1: I've added some more to the end, I thought it ended too abruptly.

* * *

The morning after, she felt strangely rested, despite the fact that she had barely had any sleep that night. 

She was sitting in the common room, reading the prophet, when Ginny came and sat down beside her.

"Hi" Ginny said gently.

Hermione didn't answer, but gave her a fierce look before returning to her paper.

"I just wanted to say, I'm sorry about yesterday" Ginny continued, despite the lack of courage from Hermione.

"Oh, no problem" said Hermione, still with her eyes on the paper. "I was just surprised to learn that you were willing to risk a friendship for a boy's sake."

"Oh, come on Hermione, you were giving him quite a hard time."

"And I think I was right to do so. None of this would've happened if Harry had only listened to me from the beginning."

"But it was only Malfoy."

Hermione brushed up at once. "It doesn't matter who it was, Harry could have killed someone! So what if it was 'only' Malfoy, it's still just as bad!"

"All right! Calm down!" said Ginny, putting both her hands up. "You're right, it doesn't matter who it was, even if it were Harry's sworn enemy."

Hermione scoffed. She knew Ginny didn't really believed what she was saying.

"You know, you've been acting really strange lately" Ginny said suddenly.

"Oh,_I've_ been acting strange?"

"Yes, you have. You keep on wandering off alone, you've barely spent any time with any of us, and when you do, you don't say a word!" She paused for a while, as if to decide whether she should go on or not. "Hermione, I know you were hurt when Ron started going out with Lavender, but they're not together anymore. I know he likes you, so if you could just swallow your pride…"

Hermione rose up quickly. This was just too much! "I'm not upset about Ron!" she cried. Then she remembered where she was, and as she looked around her, she saw several students looking at her with great curiousity. She sat down again and lowered her voice. "Listen, I don't care who Ron's seeing. I admit I was disappointed when he started seeing Lavender, but I'm over it now. And I know you were hoping that the two of us would end up together, but I can't see that happening."

Ginny looked at her, the expression on her face hard to interpret. "Okay" she said eventually.

Hermione suddenly felt how tired she was, how exhausted she was from all the sneaking and lying. She desperately wanted to tell Ginny what was going on between her and Draco, but not even she would understand. She closed her eyes as she said: "I'm sorry I brushed up like that, Ginny, I've just had a rough time."

Ginny looked at her and smiled. "So you forgive me?" she asked.

"Yes" sighed Hermione. "But you know, it still hurts."

Ginny lowered her eyes. "I know" she said. "I wish I hadn't said it. I'm sorry. Friends again?"

Hermione gave her a faint smile and said "Yes. Friends again."

_X – X - X_

Draco wasn't released out of the hosital wing until after three days, and Hermione didn't dare to take the risk of going there one more time, so when she finally saw him in the corridores, her heart leapt and she wanted to run up to him and throw her arms around him. At that moment, she realised that she was really in love with Draco Malfoy. She hadn't admitted that to herself earlier, she only knew that there was a strange attraction between them. But now her own reaction surprised her, and it scared her.

She didn't run up to him, but he managed to quickly grab her little finger and then released it. Later she found a note in her left pocket, asking her to meet him that night. She felt that tingling sensation again. But one thing made her curious. In the note, he asked her if she could lend him her copy of Rune translation. She didn't know why he wanted that, but after a moment's thought, she decided to bring it anyway.

He was waiting for her as usual outside the Room of requirement, and once more she supressed the instinct of running up to him and hug him. But when she reached him, she grabbed his hand and quickly dragged him into the room, then gave him a passionate kiss. He looked surprised.

"Wow" he said. "Why do I deserve this treatment?"

She smiled. "No reason. Just happy to see you healthy again."

But "healthy" wasn't really the right word to describe him, she thought, though his spirits seemed better now than the last time she had met him.

He dragged her towards him and put his arms around her.

"I missed you" he said in a low voice as he let his lips slide along her jaw, sending shots of electricity through her body. She didn't answer out of fear that her voice would betray her, but remained in his arms, enjoying the moment.

After a while, she cleared her throat and wriggled out of his embrace. "I brought the book" she told him and showed it to him. He smiled.

"Thanks" he said and reached out a hand to take it, but she didn't give it to him.

"Why do you want to read it?" she asked him.

At first he looked a bit annoyed, but soon he gave her that innocent look he was so good at. "I just thought it might be interesting." he said.

She narrowed her eyes.

"Oh, okay" he said with a smile "I found something that I want to translate."

"What?"

"Just a message carved under my bed. You and your friends aren't the only ones who likes a mystery, you know."

She thought for a moment, but decided that it couldn't do any harm to lend him the book, so finally she gave it to him.

He smiled and thanked her by giving her another kiss.

_X – X - X_

One morning, as she was heading for the library as usual, to try and find something about the Half-blood-Prince, she caught a glimpse of a lean figure and blond hair. Draco was peering out of one of the classrooms. She giggled to herself as she approached him, but the smile on her face was wiped away when she saw the state he was in. His skin was almost grey, his hair was in a mess and his eyes were red, it looked as he were on the verge of crying. Quickly, he dragged her inside the room.

"Draco! What's wrong?"

But he didn't answer, he shut the door with a wave of his wand and drew her close to him, flinging his arms around her. She got nervous that they would show on the Marauder's map, but soon she wiped that thought out of her mind, because Draco seemed like he was about to dissolve.

"I had to see you" Draco breathed so low she could barely hear it.

"Why? What has happened?"

Again he didn't answer, but took her head in his hands and kissed her in a desperate way. He was shaking and now tears were slowly streaming down his face. She broke free and looked at him worriedly.

"Draco, what's wrong?" she repeated, "What's upset you like this?"

But he looked down, refusing to meet her gaze, and he was shaking almost uncontrollably. Then he started pacing around the room, with his arms around his body, making whimpering sounds. He reminded her of a caged animal. Finally, just when she thought he would faint, he sat down on a chair behind him and put his head in his hands, then ran his fingers through his blond hair. He was sobbing, and yet his whole appearance told her to stay away from him, he didn't want her to come too close now. She looked at him, confused and worried, and begged him: "Draco, _please_ tell me what's wrong."

Through the sobs and the gulps she heard him whisper: "I can't."

Slowly, gently she approached him. "Why can't you tell me?"

Just when she reached him, he stood up quickly and threw himself at her again. He was now clinging to her, as if he couldn't hold up his own weight. Then, before she had time to react, he kissed her again, more desperately than before, and quickly walked out of the room. She wanted to call after him, but remembered where she was and shut the door with her wand before anyone would see her. Then she waited for several minutes before she approached the door. But just when she was about to open it, she noticed that her copy of Rune translation on a table beside the door. She picked it up and looked at it closely. There was a gap between a few of the pages, and she opened the book where it was. There was a bit of folded parchment lying there, and she thought it might be a note from Draco, but as she unfolded it she noticed it was blank. She sighed, a bit disappointed, re-folded the note, put it back into the book and went out, hoping she would get the chance to talk to Draco soon and find out what was bothering him.

_X – X – X_

Later that day, she was sitting with Ron in the common room, waiting for Harry to return from Dumbledore's office. They didn't speak much, as Hermione were thinking about what could be wrong with Draco, and Ron didn't dare disturb her when she was deep in thoughts. Suddenly, Harry came rushing in, panting and looking very tensed and stressed .

"What does Dumbledore want?" she asked him, and added "Harry, are you okay?" when she saw the stressful look on his face. But he just called "I'm fine" as he rushed up the stairs. After a few moments, he returned to them. She stared at him in confusion, and noticed that Ron was doing the same.

Then Harry told them what Dumbledore had said to him, and that they were going to search for the Horcrux tonight. Hermione gasped in chock as he told them, and when he said he thought Draco would do whatever he was up to tonight, she began to protest, but he interrupted both her and Ron. Then he shoved the Marauder's map into her lap, and gave Ron the Felix Felicis, telling them they should call for the other DA members, before he ran off again.

Hermione and Ron sat there, stricken, and just stared at eachother.

"Do you think…?" Ron said.

"I don't know" she replied. "It's all so confusing." She thought for a while. "But I know that if something happens tonight, both we and Harry will blame us for not doing anything" she said.

Ron nodded. "So what do you think we should do?"

"Call for the other DA.members, of course."

Before she did that, they checked the Marauder's map to see if they could spot Draco. As they could't, they both figured that he must be in the Room of requirement, so Hermione used her magic galleon to summon the others to meet them outside. Because of the curfue, they had to be careful not to get detected by one of the teachers, but soon, Hermione was standing opposite to the so familiar tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy, with Ron, Ginny and Neville, waiting for the others to come. Eventually, only Luna turned up. To Hermione's relief, they decided that Ron, Ginny and Neville would patrol outside the Room of requirement, and that she and Luna would guard Snape's office. The two girls sneaked downstairs to the dungeouns where Snape were.

There were not much to say, as both of them were straining their ears to hear anything from the office. They had to be quiet anyway, or they would risk that Snape would hear them.

The time was wearing on, and Hermione felt really tired and bored. The first rush of excitement was gone, and now she was only waiting for something to happen, or to know what was going on upstairs, _if_ anything was going on.

Soon, her wish came through. They heard footsteps approaching at a high speed: someone was running to Snape's office. Hermione looked at Luna in alarm, they should try to hide, but it was too late.

It was professor Flitwick, and he was shouting: "Death Eaters! Death Eaters in the castle! Help! Help!" with his usual, squeaky voice. He didn't even seem to notice Hermione or Luna as he burst open Snape's door and entered his office. They could hear him shouting further inside, somewhat muffled because of the door, and then there was a loud thump, and Snape stepped out of the office. He wasn't too alarmed to miss the girls, he just gave them a cold look and said: "Professor Flitwick just collapsed, I suggest that you two take care of him. I have to take care of these Death Eaters", before he sprinted off. Confused, they both entered, and there was the Charms Professor lying unconscious on the office floor.

" Professor Flitwick!" Hermione said loudly, "Can you hear me? Professor?"

He moaned and then slowly opened his eyes.

"Where am I?" he asked them.

"You're in Professor Snape's office, you've just collapsed…" she began, but he jumped up.

"Death Eaters!" he shouted once more. "I have to go and help fighting them!"

"I think you've hit your head, Professor" Hermione said. "You should go to the hospital wing. We will help you." She looked desperately at Luna, and then they grabbed him under one arm each and slowly began walking.

The three had just stepped put of the great hall, when they heard feet running down the Marbel staircase.

"It must be the Death Eaters!" Flitwick whispered.

"Oh" said Luna, in her ususal stray voice. "We should better hide, then."

She and Flitwick looked for a place to hide, but something was holding Hermione back. Soon, she saw Snape's black, bat-like figure, and behind him was…

"Draco?" The word slipped out of her mouth, barely a whisper. He stopped dead as he saw her, and for a brief moment, that felt like a lifetime, their eyes locked and the world stopped turning. She knew the question was burning in her eyes, but his didn't answer it. She wanted so desperately to meet him, to ask what was going on and why, but she was frozen where she stood, unable to move because of the shock and the knowledge that everything would be ruined when Luna, Professor Flitwick and Snape saw it. Then Snape tugged Draco's arm, and he ran down the rest of the staircase, through the front doors, and then he was gone.

"Hermione!" she heard Luna hissing, and she joined her and Professor Flitwick back into the Grat Hall.

"We need to get Professor Flitwick to the hospital wing soon" Luna said. "He looks ill."

Hermione glanced at the teacher, and indeed he looked ill. She was so confused, her head was spinning with questions, but she had to take control over the situation.

"I know another way to the Hospital wing" she told Luna. "Come!"

_X-X-X_

A few hours later, she was lying in her bed, trying to take in what had happened that night. She was in shock, she couldn't believe what Harry had told all of them. That Draco had had a mission to kill Dumbledore, and had been working all year to make it happen. She tried to feel something, anything, but her whole body and mind seemed numb. How could she not have noticed? How could she have been so blind? Why hadn't she tried to find out what he was doing?

The following days, she spent most of her time in the library, trying to find out who the Half-Blood Prince could have been, and who the initials R.A.B. could belong to. She convinced herself that she was doing it just out of curiousity, and to help Harry with the Horcrux, but really, it was to push the feeling of guilt away. Finally, she found an article regarding Eileen Prince and her marriage to Tobias Snape, and then another announcement on the birth of her son, Severus. She immediately told Harry all about it, but now, she had nothing to occupy herself with. Planlessly, she bagan browsing through her books to keep her mind off everything regarding Draco and Dumbledore and Snape. When she opened her Rune translation book, the little pice of parchment Draco had left fell out of it. She picked it up, but to her surprise, it was no longer blank. There was now a message on it, and she immediately recognised Draco's neat handwriting:

"Dearest Hermione,

When you read this letter, I will be gone, in one way or another. I hope I will still be alive, even if it means I have ended someone else's life.

I want you to know, that if it weren't for you, I never would've lasted these last months. I hope you will understand why I had to do this and that you won't hate me. I'm sorry.

Love, Draco."

The note fell out of her hand as everything finally cought up with her, and she broke down on her bed. She suddenly remembered what Harry had told them, that Draco had lowered his wand just before the other Death Eaters had arrived, and she tried to hold on to that, tried to believe that it was because of her that he hadn't been able to kill Dumbledore, tried to believe that she'd had some impact on him. But it was impossible to stop the tears from coming, all she could do was to hide under the sheets and hoping no one would enter her dormitory and find her. It felt like she was being torn apart, and she was desperately fighting not to scream her pain out.

The next day was the day for Dumbledore's funeral. Hermione was standing by one of the windows in the common room and looking out of it, without really seeing anything. The note from Draco was in her hand and she stroke it abscently with her thumb, trying to remember when it had felt really good to be with Draco. She couldn't remember any time with him that wasn't accompanied by a feeling that it was all wrong.

"Hermione?" Ron said behind her. She gave a start and quickly put the note in one of her pockets before she turned to him.

"Yes?"

"It's time for breakfast. Will you join me?"

She followed him downstairs, but had difficulty eating anything, as everyone else seemed to have. Ron was trying to talk to her, but she barely answered him, and after a while, he gave up.

In a way, it was lucky for her that the funeral was that day, because no one would wonder why she was crying so hard. It was amazing that she had any tears left, because she had been awake all night, crying silently into her pillow so that none of the other girls would hear her.

She had a feeling that nothing mattered now, she had betrayed her friends, and now she was paying the price for it. So when Harry, after the funeral, told her and Ron that he was going to hunt the rest of the Horcruxes, she felt it was natural for her to go with him. She hoped that she would contribute to something, and maybe, in time, that would help her forgive herself.

* * *

Well, hope you liked it. The next chapter will contain DH spoilers, just a warning. 


	7. Walking after you

A/N: Ok, so here it is, the final chapter

A/N: Ok, so here it is, the final chapter! Hope you've enjoyed reading it as much as I have enjoyed writing it.  
I added some to the end of the previous chapter. I also added a warning that this chapter contains DH spoilers. The whole chapter is really a spoiler. Anyway, hope you'll like it.

_Twenty years later_

Hermione felt very nervous as she was sitting next to Ron in their car, going to King's Cross station. She'd had that feeling ever since she woke up this morning, way too early, and it had only increased as she lay awake, listening to Ron snoring loudly. It was, of course, because she didn't know how she would react when she saw Draco Malfoy once again.

She had been thinking about this day for over a month now, and had re-lived the time they had spent together in their sixth grade, and remembered how devestated she had been when he left and she had been aware what he had been planning all the time they had seen each other. Well, she was over it now, and was living a happy life with Ron. Still, she couldn't help but sometimes think about how different her life could have been if Draco had stayed at Hogwarts.

In a way, he had made her a great favour by disappearing. She knew it was only a matter of time before someone would find out about them, and obviously she hadn't been able to break up with him, so his flight had made everything much easier, despite the hurt and loss she'd felt. But she didn't dare think of how much worse it would've been if they got caught and her friends found out about her betrayal.

"Okay, here we are! King's Cross!" Ron called, waking her out of her thoughts. "Help me finns a good parking spot, will you?" he said to her, and took his eyes off the road a little too long.

"Ron! Watch it!" she yelled as he was almost about to run over a pedestrian crossing the street.

"Oh, nevermind, I have complete control" he told her confidently. She snorted.

After a while, they found a good spot, Ron parked the car with some difficulty, and then they started lifting out Rose's trunk and placed it on a trolley. Hermione let Ron do most of the work, as her mind wasn't really there, but he didn't seem to notice it.

When they reached the barrier, she allowed Ron to take Rose through it first, then went after them with Hugo holding her hand.

The platform was invisible because of the thick white fog from the train, but Ron and Rose were waiting for them a few steps away. They all went a little further along the platform, then stopped some distance away from the barrier and waited for Harry and Ginny and their children to come.

Hermione was suddenly aware that someone was watching her, and she didn't need to think too hard who that could be. Draco had arrived too. But she couldn't start looking for him, not just yet, she had to gather some strenght before that. Knowing that he was watching her made her very self conscious though, as if she saw herself through his eyes: every movement, every word she spoke, every reaction to what her loved ones said.

"You're being ridiculous" a familiar, yet seldom heard voice in her head told her.

"I know. But I can't help it."

Then, she took a deep breath, turned around and looked him straight in the eyes. The power of his gaze was stronger than she had imagined, and it hit her like a blow in the abdomen, almost making her lose her breath. His eyes expressed so much: longing, sadness, obsession. It frightened her a bit, but it also made her remember his warm lips, the softness of his kisses, what he smelled like, the feeling of his skin under her fingers. A part of her longed to be sixteen again, and to be with him once more in the Room of Requirement, without worries.

A movement beside her made her look away, and through the fog, now thinner than before, she saw Harry, Ginny, Albus and Lily approaching them. They exchanged some words and helped lift Albus's trunk on to the train. Then Ron noticed Draco and made Harry attentive, too. She saw that Draco was a bit disturbed as they were all staring at him, then he nodded curtly and turned away.

"So that's little Scorpius" she heard Ron mutter. "Make sure you beat him in every test, Rosie. Thank God you inherited your mother's brains."

"Ron, for heaven's sake" she said, trying to sound amused by this comment. "Don't try to turn them agains each other before they've even started school!"

"You're right, sorry. Don't get_too_ friendly with him, though, Rosie. Granddad Weasley would never forgive you if you married a pure-blood."

This comment made Hermione very sad, but she showed nothing. If Ron only knew.

While the others were talking about something else, she took another look at Draco, who was looking at her again. This time, she wasn't as affected by him as before. She knew it wouldn't have lasted, it was too complicated. Her friends would never have accepted it, and most of all, his family certainly wouldn't.

The thought of his family brought yet another memory to the surface: when Draco's aunt Bellatrix had tortured her, using the cruciatus curse. Draco had done nothing to help her. Of course, she understood why, but at that moment, she had realised that Ron was much better for her.

She looked at her husband helping their eldest board the train, and her heart swelled. Loving Ron was easier, mostly because they had been friends for such a long time, and his family didn't mind where she came from and who her parents were. But she had never felt that strange, undeniable attraction to him as she had to Draco. Hers and Ron's love was more safe, more mature. Well, she was a grown woman now, and what else should she have but a mature relationship?

She turned away from Draco and joined her family. She kissed her daughter goodbye, told her to send them an owl when she had arrived at Hogwarts, and then watched the train leave the station. Then, without looking back, she left platform nine and three-quarters with her family and her best friends, convinced that the next time she would see Draco wouldn't be so hard.

X – X - X

She had not seen him yet. He thought it was rather amazing that she hadn't, he felt like his gaze was like a laser on her, and that the energy from it should make her notice him. Of course, he had spotted her as soon as he had reached platform nine and three-quarters, and he had immediately been launched back twenty years, back to the happiest time he could remember. He thought about that for a while. Yes, it had been a happy time, despite the constant fear and agony about his task and what the Dark Lord would do to him if he did not succeed, because he'd had her to look forward to. The memory of their first kiss made him smile. How surprised he had been, that she, of all people, would kiss him. His first reaction had been to draw back, but then he couldn't resist to kiss her, too. It had been a really wonderful feeling, but as soon as he realised that, he had reacted with anger and misdirected it towards her. He had sometimes tourtured himself with the memory of the look on her face when he had offended her after dinner that day. But more painful was when he remembered the look on her face when they met in the entrance hall. Her eyes, so full of confusion, shock, sadness and panic, were etched onto his eyelids.

She was beautiful, as she had been back then, but now she was a grown woman, and she had married that… that red-haired moron. He already knew that, of course, he knew all about her, but seeing them together really hurt, and filled him with jealousy. It ought to be _him_ that was telling jokes to make her laugh. It ought to be _him_ that was looking at her so lovingly. It ought to be _him_ that was standing with her on the platform, watching their first child go off to Hogwarts. It made him want to shout out at the top of his lungs, it was all so unfair!

He looked at his wife. She was talking to Scorpius, tucking in his shirt and making sure he looked proper. Their marriage was really cold, he thought with a sigh, had been fo many years now. That was probably why they had only concieved one child. It wasn't her fault, really. After years of drunken nights out and meningless loose connections to try to get Hermione off his mind, he had felt it was time to settle down, and had managed to persuade himself that he was in love. But he had soon discovered that the only one he could think of was Hermione Granger.

He hadn't realised how much those meetings in the Room of Reqiurement with her had meant to him until he'd left, but by then it had been brutually clear to him. It had been awful to spend long days with his mother and aunt as only company, followed by even longer nights where he lay awake, thinking of what might have been, if only. If only she wasn't muggle-born. If only that didn't matter. If only he hadn't been appointed that horrible task. If only he hadn't left Hogwarts with Snape that night. If only he could see her one more time, and explain everything to her.

When their mansion had become the head quarters for the Dark Lord and his followers, he would have been able to push her out of his mind, because he'd had to witness things he wished he could forget. But the more awful things he saw, the more he kept seeing her face, as the only good thing that had happened in his life.

And one day, she was there, in his home. He'd had a hard time believing it, but there she was, just as he had remembered her. Of course, they had both pretended that they didn't know eachother. It had been really painful to watch his aunt torture her, but he couldn't reveal what had happened between them. At one brief moment, her eyes had met his, and he saw that she understood, and that was worst of all, that she didn't expect him to do anything to help her. And all the while, he had heard Weasly shouting her name from the cellar. He wasn't afraid of the consequences of showing his feelings.

Suddenly, she looked up and saw him. Their eyes locked and he could feel that tingling sensation, like electricity, that he'd always felt around her. He tried to examine her eyes and what they displayed. He was afraid he would see hatred in them, but instead, he thought he saw sadness and longing there. Was she thinking of him as much as he thought of her? He wanted so badly to go up to her, take her in his arms and kiss her, without thinking about the consequences, without caring about how everyone would react. But he stood rooted to the ground, unable to do anything than watch her. But he didn't avert his eyes, and neither did she, until Potter and his family arrived. For a while, he couldn't see what she was doing, but soon he noticed that Weasly had seen him. Draco turned his head quickly away. When he looked over again they were all staring at him, but his eyes met Hermione's once again and he felt his heart leap. He nodded curtly and turned to his son. His wife was talking to a mother of one of Scorpius's friends.

"Come here, son" he said as he crouched down to the same hight as Scorpius. "I want to talk to you before you leave."

"Yes, father?"

"You see that girl over there?" he said and pointed discretely at Rose, Hermione's daughter.

"Yes."

"I don't want you to be mean to her, okay?"

His son frowned.

"But, her mother's a Mudblood."

"I don't want you to use that word!"

"But Grandpa says…"

"I don't care what he says! I don't want to hear you're giving that girl a hard time. Or her brother when he starts school."

His son looked at him in disbelief. Draco hoped that he would do as he told him, despite the fact that they didn't have a very close relationship. Scorpius was really his wife's son, and though he resembled Draco a lot he didn't feel as connected to him as he ought to be.

Quickly he added "I want you to behave when it comes to those other children, too." He hoped that this would make his request less suspiciouc to Scorpius. "I owe all of their parents a great deal" he continued. "They saved my life once".

To his relief, his son seemed to settle for that.

Draco watched as his wife helped Scorpius board the train, then waved at him as the train started to move, wondering how he would manage to spend every day in his mansion with his wife as only company. Perhaps he would have to say he had a lot of work to do, again.

When the train was out of sight, he was still standing on the same spot as he watched Hermione leave with her family and friends. He wouldn't see her again until the end of next semester.

He would be counting the days.

_The end_


End file.
